When my family first moved to West Texas a little over five years ago, it became clear that our new hometown was not a welcoming place for every member of our family. The local school district had a bullying problem, and for their own safety, we chose to remove our then-teenage child from public school. 

In the midst of that experience, however, we felt a glimmer of hope as we witnessed another local school district host a collaborative forum to make policy changes that would ensure every student felt safe at school. They reached out to parents with students who were victims of bullying, and school district officials set out to listen, learn, and make positive change. 

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And yet, none of the voices on the panel for this policy forum included LGBTQ+ students or their families.

The most recent GLSEN School Climate Survey reports that 8 in 10 LGBTQ+ youth experience bullying or harassment at school. And for years, students across the country took the CDC’s Youth-Risk Behavior Survey and taught us that LGBTQ+ students are more than twice as likely to experience school bullying as their straight peers. There were critical voices missing from this conversation.

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So, even though our family didn’t have skin in the game, we and other PFLAG families showed up to remind policymakers of the LGBTQ+ students they served. 

Because we showed up as allies for the LGBTQ+ students in that district, we not only directly influenced their policymaking but we also developed relationships with school board members that have been invaluable as the district navigates state and local laws targeting transgender youth in particular.

In short, if there’s not a seat at the table for you or your loved ones, bring a chair.

How a strong community fuels activism

This leads to an important lesson for good folks who value LGBTQ+ people but aren’t part of the community themselves – or folks who don’t think they know a trans person directly. 

When my child came out, I knew nothing about the journey ahead. I’m a cisgender, straight woman who was raised Catholic. But I knew it was my responsibility to educate myself and provide support structures for our family, including a strong community. So my husband and I set out to join and strengthen community spaces where every member of our family could be themselves and thrive. 

I got involved with PFLAG and with our local Pride community center. I listened to queer and trans people, not only to help myself and my family, but to help the LGBTQ+ community in the ways they needed.

When there was a need from the community, I used the resources I had, whether it was networking with other local community organizations or online with other parents, to help boost the small but mighty local community for queer and trans folks in the ways that they asked. I also organized other parents of queer and trans youth to create spaces of support for us, too.

A core source of strength and resilience for LGBTQ+ people and families in our community has been this network of LGBTQ+ people, community groups, and allies. We have an existing source of strength built up when lawmakers have decided to pass or enforce discriminatory policies in West Texas, and we can rely on each other to fight for our pride if others need to step back.  

Show up, advocate, stick around

The last lesson comes from a friend in the PFLAG network in Ohio named Sally. As Congress was debating amendments to the 2026 National Defense Authorization Act, many PFLAG families were asked to meet with our senators to share stories about the importance of transgender healthcare. At first, Sally said she didn’t think she could or should participate. She wasn’t a member of the military, nor did she have a transgender family member.

Yet, on the day of the meeting, she showed up.

Sally came prepared. She shared a story with a senator about a neighbor who is in the military and the struggles their family has had getting care for a child with diabetes (which is also treated with hormones, in the form of insulin). Further, she shared that her local LGBTQ+ community in that senator’s hometown was strong and said they would be monitoring the senator’s actions on this and other issues. 

That day, through her remarks and advocacy, Sally made a difference. The lesson here is you don’t have to be a member of a targeted group to show up, advocate, and stick with them. 

This whole year, PFLAG has been organizing and training family members and LGBTQ+ allies to become advocates who not only share in LGBTQ+ Pride, but who fight for it, too. 

Because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that when you really think about how things will impact the people in your community, it makes it very hard to support legislation and people who will harm them.

Love and liberty are inseparable. This is undeniable. We hope you’ll join us in the fight for freedom in 2026.

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